I'm new to this, so excuse me if I make a faux pas.

I had some interest in bondage most of my life, but wasn't into anything heavy until recently. It was by accident that I met a professional Dominatrix. I didn't even know that she was a pro-Domme until about 5 years after knowing her. Once I found out, I tried to be amusing by writing a BDSM story. Actually about 3 of them. She shared the stories with the head-Domme and they decided to produce it.

The lucky part for me was that they couldn't get anyone who could convincingly act to play the male role, so I was asked to do it. It went over very well and the video was made. I was then asked to do more parts and presently have been in about 7 full-lenth DVDs and numerous clips.

My reputation seems to be spreading because I've gotten a few calls to do more videos with other independent Dommes.

So far, I'm more of a video performer than a lifestyle player. I'm also not even sure what I am within the BDSM community. I don't think I'm a slave or submissive. I know I'm a total exhibitionist and love being videotaped. In time, I guess I'll find my niche.

Hey, fellow newbie. Awesome story! I can't imagine a better introduction to the scene.

I don't think you are confused at all... The great thing about this lifestyle is that no one is asking you to conform. You don't have to be molded into a slave/submissive. It is just enough that you are a bottom exhibitionist.

We put too much time and effort on labeling ourselves. We are what we are. If you do not like your current "role" explore new avenues. I know people that like to only perform because they like the attention - it is their kink, just like I know people who like to only play in private. I know pain sluts who are not submissives and tops who will bottom on occasion. It doesn't make them confused, or less of a sub/master/mistress, it just makes them aware that they don't necessarily fit into a label!

I just sometimes feel a little awkward during introductions. "Top, Bottom, Master, Slave, uhhhh......I'm not sure."

Or when they ask, "How long have you been into the lifestyle" Does performing in videos count?

Yes, it just seems it's easier socially for those who have fallen into an identifiable mold. I'm still stuck in the netherworld of "I'm not sure."

I felt like that a while ago, when I was still finding myself. I just decided to not care what label I put on. When I went to parties people would label me as submissive because I am petite, yet I am anything but!

If I actually spelled out what I am, it would take way too long and most people rarely see any side of me other than Domme. I usually just say that I identify as a Domme, but other times I say I am just kink-filled.

If I can't change and evolve, my label or otherwise, why bother? If someone MUST label me for me to fit in, then it is their close-mindedness. Because of the nature of the scene, many of us are open-minded, or should be.

And yes... doing videos count! "Pain Slut Exhibitionist" if you really need a title! In order to "find your niche," try opening up to new types of play. Book a private session, see how you like it or play at one of the play parties.

Ok... I'm ranting! Don't get me started!